For 58 years, Eryk Kesa was at war with himself. Physically, he was a woman; mentally and emotionally, he was a man.
He endured a tough childhood, growing up in Catholic Poland where he was bullied, teased and called names by schoolmates. It was ostensibly a country where “everyone was straight”, Mr Kesa said. Of course, everyone wasn’t but the level of homophobia was such that no one dared to come out, whether as lesbian, gay or transgender.
“I was completely alone,” he said. “I was terrified to tell my Roman Catholic mother because I would hurt her feelings.”
“I struggled to find some way to fit into society. I had to play a role, all my life I had to play a role.”
Mr Kesa and his mother eventually escaped the communist regime and settled in Australia where he continued to live life as a woman.
Three years ago, the Blackheath resident finally made the decision to transition from a woman. It was a final effort to achieve what he described as “unity” in himself — to have his male psyche reflected with a male body.
The process involved extensive counselling, hormone therapy and invasive surgery but now, he said: “I have a feeling of peace in myself after all these years.”
Mr Kesa is happy to tell his story in the hope that it might help other transgender people, particularly the young, and also help combat ignorance about transgender issues.
This is also the aim of the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (IDAHOT Day), which will be celebrated in Katoomba on Sunday.
IDAHOT is a worldwide event highlighting how homophobia and transphobia can damage lives. It takes place on May 17, as that was the date, 25 years ago, when the World Health Organisation removed homosexuality from its list of mental health disorders.
Councillor Romola Hollywood, a member of the Mountains IDAHOT organising committee, said a recent study commissioned by beyondblue found that high levels of homophobia among teenage boys were harming the mental health of young gay people and putting them at risk of suicide.
It estimated that young lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people are three to six times more likely to be distressed than their straight peers, placing them at much greater risk of depression, anxiety and suicide.
“The report shows that we need to do more to address homophobia and transphobia, so that people of diverse sexuality and gender can feel a strong sense of acceptance and belonging to our community,” she said. “IDAHOT is an important time for council to lead the call to say no to homophobia and transphobia.”
IDAHOT committee member Kevin Hardwick said: “As an older gay man [67 years old] I remember how difficult it was to be open about being gay when I was a teenager. It caused me much anxiety and depression, including suicidal thoughts. I am happy about my involvement in IDAHOT and hope that in 2015 young people need not feel excluded and discriminated against as I did.”
Angelique Sasagi from Blue Mountains Family Support, who is also a committee member, said: “Organisations like ours don’t want our involvement in IDAHOT to be seen as simply a symbolic gesture. We not only want to share the message that homophobia and transphobia is not acceptable but emphasise that it’s everyone’s responsibility to speak out against discrimination such as this.”
The day begins with the raising of the Rainbow Flag in Civic Place (in front of council’s Katoomba office) at 11am before moving to Carrington Place in Katoomba Street where local resident Sharron McKinnon will speak of the importance of marriage equality and Alex Taylor will speak of his experiences as a young transgender person.
The event includes music and a light lunch will be provided free of charge. All members of the public are welcome to attend.
