Wait. Truffles did what now?
Apparently the PM is chucking a sickie.
Normally, nobody would care if the feds took a sickie. Even if the sickie sort of coincided with the First Test.
But since the white truffle douchelord currently clinging to his hold on the Lodge by a couple of manicured fingernails might not actually be Prime Minister any more, it's nudging right up to taking a liberty, if not straight up taking the piss, for him to cancel Parliament next week.
The government appears to have lost its majority in the house through utter incompetence and rather than chance the embarrassment of rogue MPs passing inconvenient legislation to, say, set up a banking inquiry, they've pulled the plug.
Leader of the House, Twitter porn hacking victim and vertical corgi Viscount Kristophe de Pyne, dismissed the members for the coming week, claiming that there was no reason for them to travel to Canberra while the Senate was busy nutting out the final form of the reformed Marriage Act after last week's big win for marriage equality.
It might just squeak through as the most pathetic excuse ever, were it not for the other 70-odd bits and pieces of legislation the lower house could be debating while they waited on the senators to drag the country into the modern world.
But since there is plenty of work for the honourable members to be getting on with, the suspicion arises that Lord Trumble is simply afeared for his safety should that ruffian Shorty Bill decide to front him and demand a display of his increasingly modest majority.
It sounds ridiculous, but that's how the power to make laws and raise taxes is determined in this country. On the floor of the Parliament.
If somebody like Turnbull can't get enough hands in the air to approve of his staying in the job, he simply can't stay.
It's illegal.
Not that what these clowns are doing is against the law.
Like their corporate mates parking their billion-dollar profits in some post office box in Bermuda and paying one-tenth of 1 per cent of bugger-all in tax on the pennies left over, the government is not breaking the law.
It's bending, twisting and wrenching it to its best advantage.
Frankly, I'd be sorry to see them go.
I've been having so much fun watching the slow-motion train wreck of this administration.
But if they can't survive on the floor of Parliament, they can't be a government any more.
