Positive toxicity: why 'good vibes only' can actually lead feeling down

Aw, why not turn that frown upside down?

Grrrrr. I warned you. You can take your toxic positivity and shove it up your platitude!

Toxic positivity? I don't understand. Aren't we supposed to be all about the good vibes? I thought being happy was healthy.

Not if it's forced and fake. Recent research shows that being relentlessly upbeat and denying your more negative feelings can have exactly the opposite effect.

So I shouldn't invert the frown after all?

There's nothing wrong with a positive attitude. But our modern day obsession with the goal of constant happiness can seriously backfire.

We're so conditioned to be "nothing but good vibes", we can feel we've failed at life if we don't radiate non-stop bliss.

It becomes a downward spiral: you feel sad, so you feel bad about feeling sad, then you feel more sad ... lots of bad and sad.

Sounds like we're making ourselves miserable by trying to be too happy.

Ironic, but true. And toxic positivity can be the enemy of empathy. Instead of acknowledging someone's genuine low feelings, it diminishes them. The last thing you need when you're really going through something is a perky positivity mantra about looking on the bright side.

That's why I avoid social media when I'm having a blah day.

Good move. Social media is a wellspring of toxic positivity. If we were all as #blessed our feeds claim, this would be nirvana.

So what's the antidote?

Like most wellness wisdom, the best way is balance. If you're feeling sad, angry or even just lack-lustre, don't deny the feeling or beat yourself up about it. Respect it, be kind to yourself and accept that life brings highs and lows - they're all part of the journey.

The experts call it "realistic optimism". Once you remove the pressure to feel fabulous all the time, it's easier to find small ways to nurture your mood at your own pace. And you can help your friends do the same by just being there for them, and acknowledging their low moments too.

Hold that frown. I see you. Hugs are ready when you are.