A Blue Mountains expert on ornithology and funk believes the election season "looks more like the mating season, given the number of grey men in grey suits who are suddenly wearing brightly coloured vests and making wild promises".
"It's as though they wear their vested interests on the outside," Dr Funkenstein said.
The doctor, from the Blue Mountains' ultimate party band, The Funk Klub, has officially declared that "fluoro is funky", and has encouraged vested and even hard-hatted politicians to attend The Funk Klub's Funky Fancy Dress Party.
"They won't look nearly as out of place there as they do at an abattoir," he said. In fact there will be a "Brightest Politician Prize", although the band fears this may go unclaimed.
"Politicians are like stars," Dr Funkenstein observed. "They tend to be brighter when you get out of the cities. Just look at Barnaby Joyce." He said the band has a special prize if Barnaby himself shows up, although he would not be drawn on what this might be.
This year the band has been joined by the legendary German bassist, Jim Funkelschoeler (pronounced "Jim") and his wonder-dog, Nina. Jim was a parting gift to the band from German President Angela Merkel. "We were very honoured," said Dr Funkenstein. "Angela was the funkiest world leader since Queen Victoria, proving funk is a universal language.
"The Funk Klub is a broad church," he continued. "We accept anyone who knows how to funk up unlikely songs like Carl Orff's O Fortuna and Billie Eilish's Bad Guy. This party, meanwhile, is our extremely serious contribution to the democratic process."
The Funk Klub's Funky Fancy Dress Party: Clarendon Hotel, Saturday April 30. Doors open 7pm, show 7.30pm. Tix $25: 4782 1322 or at the door ($3 BF); The Velvet Fog, 4782 5277. Facebook.com/FunkKlubBand.
