Springwood resident Lee Koller knows first hand the challenges of being a full-time carer. So her advice to other carers during Dementia Awareness Week (September 22-26) is to consider joining a local support group.
Mrs Koller said choosing to leave her job in 2008 at Blue Mountains Occasional Childcare Service where she'd worked for nine years in order to take care of her mum, Valerie, after her diagnosis with vascular dementia wasn't easy.
"To become a full-time carer, I lost my identity in the workforce and financial independence for the next six years," she said.
"It was a huge and difficult decision, but I didn't hesitate for a minute.
"Mum had asked to not be put in a [nursing] home - that was her wish.
"She died on December 30 last year and I feel so fortunate, so privileged, that I was able to look after her at home."
Mrs Koller said her mother showed signs of memory loss for about 14 years but seemed to become noticeably worse in 2007 after her husband died and it was decided to get her tested for dementia.
"She would hide written phone numbers in odd places, forget things now and again and she'd pick up something and knew what it was but didn't know what to do with it.
"Dementia is different for everybody and I'd imagine for the person diagnosed it would be really frightening, but fortunately my mum was always a very pragmatic person and we were able to discuss it."
They both attended a six-month Living with Memory Loss course run by Anglicare and from there Mrs Koller joined the Dementia Carers Support Group, facilitated by Celia Lotus from Springwood Neighbourhood Centre, where she was able to find out about available respite services and meet other carers.
"I attended many meetings and did a lot of research to try to get the best information to take care of Val.
"It allowed you to speak about how you feel with others, which I found vital because as a full-time carer you can get very isolated and self-reliant - in some ways I became my mum's mum.
"We were all at a different stage of the caring process so the more experienced members were able to support those coming up.
"Even now after mum's death I'm still a member of the group, it provides support and I can give advice to others if they want it.
"I'm working again [a catering job at University of Western Sydney's Nepean campus] and while I'm still going through the grieving process, there is light at the end of the tunnel and it's important for carers to know that.
"If some carers read this article and think yes, there are support groups out there and I'm going to try one, that would be really worthwhile.
"I'd urge them to join one because it really does help you on your journey."
The Dementia Carers Support Group meets on the second and fourth Fridays of the month between 2pm and 4pm at the Norman Lindsay Gallery Cafe in Faulconbridge and also meets bi-monthly for an informative presentation at Springwood Neighbourhood Centre. Details: 4751-3033.
