It's an incident that will haunt Faulconbridge resident and Hawkesbury region police Constable James Ghata forever.
In December 2012, he witnessed the murder of his duty officer Detective Inspector Bryson Anderson at Oakville in Sydney's north-west fringe.
The decorated officer was fatally stabbed by youth Mitchell Barbieri during a siege at the semi-rural property he shared with his mother Fiona, who had a mental illness.
Const Ghata was standing near Insp Anderson when he was stabbed, and as he helped him down some stairs to sit down, it was not immediately evident the severity of the injury. But even after sustaining a significant injury, Insp Anderson knelt down to help another officer who had wrestled Mitchell Barbieri to the ground. Insp Anderson died soon after, with Const Ghata by his side.
The months that followed were horrendous for Const Ghata who was plagued by nightmares, feelings of guilt and in his struggle to get through daily life, he distanced himself from his family.
"I beat myself up for months," he said. He was eventually diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, but with time and the right help, things have improved.
"I'm trying to manage it so I can go home and be an effective dad and husband," Const Ghata said.
He chose to remain in the police force, a desire to help others driving him on.
It's this same selflessness that will see him take part in the 300km Police Legacy Ride from Sydney to Canberra from May 1-3, which supports the family of fallen police officers. The money goes towards educating the children, social outings and helping the remaining parent raise their little ones.
Any way he can help Insp Anderson's wife Donna and her three children is worthwhile, Const Ghata said.
In a quirky twist, Const Ghata has elected to ride the 300km highway journey on a Hawkesbury Cycles "fat bike", its wide tyres typically suited to off-road riding in snow or sand.
"I wanted to try and do something a bit more challenging for it. It's a bit quirky and encourages people to give more money for it. In the first day I raised $1600," Const Ghata said.
He maintains a good general level of fitness, but expects to "be in a bit of pain" after 300km in the saddle.
Const Ghata is already more than halfway towards his $5000 target. To donate to the fundraising ride , visit the website remembrancebikeride.gofundraise.com.au/page/JamesGhata0.