Macquarie boss Nic Moore and his wealth lieutenant, Greg Ward, treated the Senate inquiry into financial advice to some classic Seinfeld comedy Tuesday with a running gag on the Penske file.
There they sat, straight faced, telling the Senate inquiry that the file does not exist. It is all a media beat-up.
For those who have come in late, a Fairfax Media investigation last year revealed the existence of the so-called "Penske file", a cheat sheet for professional exams that was circulated among Macquarie advisers.
The file is named after a folder of documents on which the Seinfeld character George Costanza pretends to work on in an episode that obviously resonated with Macquarie insiders.
Senator John 'Wacka' Williams handed Macquarie a copy of the file last year after the bank claimed that it had gone through millions of its computer files and failed to find anything.
The Macquarie duo were asked about the Penske file again on Tuesday.
"That's what it was referred to by the media," Ward said.
"And by your people," Senator Nick Xenophon said.
"Not by our people, by the media," Ward repeated.
He went on to confirm that the file does not exist in any case and encouraged people to bring any evidence forward if it does.
"I have no evidence it existed at all," Ward said.
What Senator Williams possessed was an "answer sheet to some study exams" and "not many people in our firm did that form of the exam".
Does that mean there is more than one form of the Penske file lurking in Macquarie?
Earlier on, Moore had offered his best Soviet-era propaganda face in response to questions about the latest Fairfax Media reports that Macquarie had sheltered planners who had allegedly been involved in a wide array of misconduct including forgery.
"We have absolutely no tolerance for wrong doing," Moore said.
Just to make sure everyone heard, he repeated the pointing saying: "Overall, we have no tolerance."
"Then how did it happen?" was the retort from the Senate benches.
Son Rise
Rupert Murdoch's under-preferred progeny, James Murdoch, has received the backing of the next most important person in the 21st Century Fox empire - Saudi Arabia's Prince Alwaleed bin Talal.
"James is a giant!" Prince Alwaleed said in a very recent interview. The Prince swooned at the thought of James' ability to grasp the digital transformation of the media landscape: "I really love him."
Watch out Lachlan.
Prince Alwaleed is Fox's second-largest voting shareholder behind the Murdoch family, which gives them a nearly impregnable position at the company.
But only if the Prince holds firm.
Last year, the Murdoch family nearly lost control of their media runt, News Corp, after Alwaleed sold his stake and left them to face a revolt by almost every other voting shareholder at News.
Prince Alwaleed went as far as saying that James could have saved the media group from an embarrassing stumble in 2005 with the failure of MySpace, and turned it into a victory that would have rocketed the company into the social media stratosphere.
"MySpace would now be flying," Alwaleed said, "and there would be no Facebook today."
For those who were wondering, Fox is now worth $US71.5 billion ($93 billion). Facebook, on the other hand, is worth $US233 billion.
G8 Motiv8
ABC Learning wannabe G8 Education has an interesting resolution for its investors to consider at its annual meeting on the Gold Coast next month.
To motivate staff, including MD Chris Scott, it is offering an incentive scheme that will issue up to $5 million shares to a "party nominated by Christopher Scott".
Given the loan is non recourse, and interest free, and the idea is to motivate Scott, we would hope that the unnamed party is suitably close to the veteran businessman to serve as an incentive.
This may not be as easy as it sounds.
Scott does not actually own any shares in G8, which is a pity because the share price has more than tripled since 2012.
But associates have benefited from his toil in childcare.
He guaranteed a company loan for his estranged wife, Juwarseh Scott, to buy 2 million shares in 2010.
Last year, Fairfax Media revealed that he transferred the ownership of a company called Geosine to Kimberley Yin.
Geosine later owned up to possessing 20 million G8 shares.
Scott and Yin shared an address, but G8 chairman Jenny Hutson - a long time business ally of Scott's - said at the time that it would be "inappropriate" to conclude that they were close associates.
Scott and Hutson have a close relationship going back to the days of travel group S8, which was built on the same model as G8.
In the case of S8, its mission was to consolidate a fragmented travel industry.
All went well until Scott sold out to MFS - the Gold Coast financier which subsequently imploded amid allegations of fraud.
Plain speak
With Singtel announcing that it is leaving the ASX and sticking to its Singaporean home bourse, CBD will miss that particular no-nonsense flavour the island nation brings to our shores.
Just take a look at the company's investor website.
Run your cursor over the ageing gentleman in a suit elicits the information that he is a "business man".
A similar experiment with the face below him reveals it is "face of an executive".
For those who are interested, the executive in question is Optus boss Allen Lew, who obviously needs to lift his profile a bit within the company.
CBD can confirm that our "business man" picture is not of Singtel chairman Simon Israel.
Got a tip? ckruger@fairfaxmedia.com.au
